Unix Specialist "Ah, Unix. Its cheapass cousin, Linux, is what all Microsoft users turn to just as their sanity reaches a crossroads. Did you know that Microsoft Word stills spellchecks ‘Unix’ as ‘UNIX’? Man, how 80’s does that look? I can imagine something like that flickering on the screen of a computer you assembled yourself from a crystal radio kit."
"But the point of all that is, Unix is basically a sort of secret society where you either know it, or you don’t. And since most people just really can’t be bothered going through the agonies of learning it, it’s why we have jobs like this: “Unix Specialist”. Of course that means nothing, or at least it means about as much as “Car Specialist” or “Bread Specialist”. Bread Specialist? What the hell is that? What kind of bread? White, multigrain, mixed grain, wholemeal, sourdough? Sliced or unsliced? If sliced, sliced for sandwiches or for toast? Crusty or soft? No matter! Just eat your bread!"